When You Don’t Want To Forgive Or Don’t Know Where To Start

Is This Prayer For You?

Are you still really angry at someone, even though a lot of time has passed? Heck, it may be a LOT of someone’s…. I will admit I’ve been there!  

Maybe you know God wants you to forgive…. You’re “supposed to”….. but you have no desire in your heart to do so?

Maybe you WISH you had the desire to do what God is asking, but feel guilty because you still don’t, and can’t just magically change your desires, right? 

MAYBE… you’ve even TRIED forgiving, or thought that you did, but you don’t feel any different towards the particular person or situation? 

This is a good prayer for YOU to let God BEGIN the healing process of forgiveness in your heart. And then, when you’re ready, move onto the “next step” in the process with my prayer suggestions below.

Let’s begin…..

“Heavenly Father, I am coming to you right now because I am struggling. I have pain and inner turmoil inside me….. Because I know that your word tells me that I should forgive the people who have hurt me and done wrong to me. But I don’t feel like forgiving _____ (fill in the blank). I don’t feel forgiveness towards them in my heart or in my mind. I still feel very angry, hurt, and think evil thoughts towards them.

First of all, Father, I want to thank you for still loving me and still being with me even as I am struggling in this, (Hebrews 13:5b).

Thank you that even now you are still hearing my prayer, and you’re drawing close to me as I draw close to you, (James 4:8a). Thank you, that because of the sacrifice of your son on the cross, I can come boldly before your throne in prayer and petition, as your child, (Hebrews 4:16).

Heavenly Father, I acknowledge that you want me to forgive _____ because it pleases you, because you forgave me when I did not deserve it (Ephesians 4:32), and because unforgiveness inside my heart causes torment and suffering on my part. You are a good Father and I trust that you want, and know, what is best for me.

Because I trust you, I invite the Holy Spirit to come in and shift my desires in this area. I ask that you replace my desires and feelings on this topic with your desires and feelings. Please begin to shift my perspective towards ____ and the situation, so that I see it, and them, the way that you do. Lead me to the place where I feel able to forgive  _____.

Lord, even though it does not feel possible right now, by faith I believe that you can make it possible for me to WANT to forgive _____. 

I desire to be obedient to you and bless you because you have shown me mercy and grace, and because I trust that you are a good Father.

Thank you that, even now, you are beginning to shift things in my heart. I choose to believe the process of forgiving _____ has started, even if it doesn’t feel like it. 

In Jesus name I pray this.


Aahhhhh…. I hope that makes you feel better. God has begun this good work in you and will bring it completion ( Philippians 1:6). 

You can use this same guided prayer over and over again for each individual person you need to forgive. 


Scriptures to consider on the topic of forgiveness:

  1. Matthew 18:21-35

  2. Romans 12:14

  3. Romans 12:17-21

Scriptures to consider on the topic of God’s Love:

  1. Romans 8:38-39

  2. Joshua 1:9


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